Push ups suck.
I'm definitely getting better with them but holy back arms, Batman! . The first time I had to do them when we started the P90X before Christmas, I did maybe...4. Don't look at me like that. I was trying, hard. I was silently blaming the Dr. that did my implants. After I had them done (and they're under the muscle), it was hard to lift my arm to shave my armpits. Hard as in, uncomfortable. I had a numb and tingling sort of sensation in my shoulder, down, and around my shoulder blade. It went right down my arm pit. I thought he severed some nerves or something! Dramatics aside, I read that the numb and tingling feeling was normal and would subside. It's been almost 4 years and it still exists when I lift my arms. But anyhoo...I should be able to do stinking push ups!! I get a lot lower than I did in the beginning and I can do more of them in each set. So I'm up to like...7. I kid. I did 12 in one set last night! Woo hoo! The last one was a little wimpish. But I did it. And I did 40 all together!! There are so many different ways to do push ups! I had no idea! One of these days I'll be able to do the ones where your whole body comes off the ground and you clap. Right now, it's just laughable. I don't want to talk about it. In the beginning I thought I was seriously going to hate Tony (P90X Guru)...and sometimes I really, really do! But seeing how easy it is for him to do these push ups...jumping all over the dang place, being nothing but positive the whole time, cracking jokes, pushing the limits every set...it's inspiring. It's maddening, at times. But I love it. I want to have THAT energy! Now I can't afford all the supplements, recovery drinks, vitamins and crap he sells with the program. (Okay, it's not crap) But I am eating better and hydrating more and I do notice a difference. However, I have a confession to make.
I don't work out every day. And when I do, it's not always P90X. But you know what? That's okay. Because every day, I'm doing SOMETHING. And that's a step in the right direction for this girl. I might need to do 180 days to get where I want to be instead of 90, but that's okay too. I'm not giving up hope. I'm setting goals and reaching them! I'm still motivated. And I'm proud of myself. Remember how I said that hearing the hubby talk about his body and his goals and his workout all the time was making me uncomfortable? That's not quite how I worded it...I'm pretty sure I said it was pissing me off. Anyway, remember? Well I'm learning to let him inspire me. Instead of feeling that overwhelming sense of guilt when he talks about how much better he's already getting...I totally agree and encourage him (and OMG, he's pretty fly! I'm so stinkin' jealous of his abs! I'm watching you, girls. Keep your distance!). I start to feel those emotions and I just smile. I'm proud to have a man that cares so much about his physique. And I'm glad he has patience enough to help me try to get to that same place.
I used to be a serious twig growing up. Like, the ones the birds use to make their nests!? I was always the smallest in my class, fragile, dainty, tiny. I was made fun of. I was teased for not blossoming until I was almost 15. "You're so flat you make the walls jealous". Stuff like that. I never thought that I'd ever be here...fighting to get back to a healthy weight. So if you know someone who is in denial and thinks they don't need to exercise, please tell them that it's better to start when they are healthy than to wait until they think they need it. I ran as a teenager and I did some aerobics. But nothing too regular. I stopped doing that when I was 18. Then 8 years later I have 2 kids and love handles. Now I look back at my 'love handles' in pictures and wish that it was the only thing I was trying to lose now! Good grief. I mean, I can totally admit that I'm getting older and my body is changing but what the hell, man?! I can't do a single pull up! I struggle to do push ups...correctly. I can't keep my legs straight when I do stretches. I can't touch my toes without bending my knees. I can't do a proper sit up. Ab ripper X is kicking my tail section!!! I can't even make it down to the basement and back up without getting winded. At 36 years of age, I should be in way better shape than this! I just started this journey so I know I have some time before I really see results. But yesterday I went up and down my stairs 4 times in less than 5 minutes and I didn't get winded once! I don't have the time or the money to get a gym membership right now, but maybe someday. We have a lot to work with at home and I'm good for now. When my strength and endurance gets a little better, I'll consider my next move carefully. :-)
Right now I have some light dumbbells. I'm hoping to get some resistance bands soon. I also need a yoga block. Some day in the near future I'd like to get a treadmill or stationary bike. I am and always have been a very busy person. I feel better when I'm busy. I feel good being able to do these work outs at home because I can stop if I need to tend to something important. I like the fact that I don't have to drive somewhere and then drive home. I like that I can work out with my husband and I don't have to worry about feeling embarrassed or looking stupid if I'm not doing something right. And if I do feel like he's going to judge me I can go work out in the basement while he's working out in the living room! He's been working out (weight training, not really cardio stuff) pretty much all his life so it's already a lifestyle for him. He only has minor adjustments to make. I know that my adjustments will take longer to pay off. And when they do I hope I have the discipline to stick with it. I'm not getting any younger!
I've made a lot of excuses over the years for why I can't fit a work out into my daily routine. I work outside of my home 45 hours a week, I have kids, I have to cook and clean, I get tired after all that and don't have the energy to work out, my back hurts (I have Scoliosis so that's a legitimate pain, but not a legitimate excuse!), I don't have the right 'equipment', or I wouldn't even know where to start. I know now that my priorities were a little out of whack. If I can't manage my time better it's not going to get any easier. And again, I'm not getting any younger! Or am I!? WA ha ha ha ha....
I don't know what today's work out entails just yet, but I'm pretty sure it won't be my arms since they're ABOUT TO FALL OFF from yesterdays routine! I let the man keep track of that and he just lets me know before we start. If it's something that I know I won't get much out of for one reason or another, I'll do cardio with Billy. I love Billy. He kicks ass. :-) In the last two weeks, here's what I noticed the most. After I work out, I do have sore muscles and I'm smelly and sweaty BUT, I have a ton of energy left too! I get so much more done now. Before I would come home, start dinner, eat, clean up and maybe get a load of laundry in before I sat down for the first time. Then I couldn't get up because I was just exhausted! I'm liking this whole energy thing. I got off work at noon yesterday and did cardio, cleaned the house, did 4 loads of laundry, cooked a pot roast, did P90X with Barry, cleaned my room a second time because Tornado Gabe spent 30 minutes in it while we were working out, took a shower and still felt like I could 'work' for a couple hours. That is such a great feeling! I'm pretty sure switching to non-fat, low-fat foods is helping too.
All in all I'm happy with the pace I'm at so far. I need to start keeping track of what I do so that I can compare week to week and see that I really am improving. Sometimes I write it down but sometimes I don't. So, I still have some kinks to work out in that discipline area! Before I know it I'll be walking around in that bikini again, lookin' all fly and stuff. I keep reading what I've written....and talking to myself but all I really hear is ...."wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle". Ha!
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